Tuesday, March 17, 2009
speechless
Dear Justinn,
This going to be the last you'll ever hear from me so make it count and make it worth the read. So much things just happened to quickly, and now I don't even know how to say this.I can't believe that this would have ever happened between us. I am so shocked and so speechless with everything that's happened. I warned you once, but you still took it through. Now its something where I can't see you, or be with you ever again. It breaks my heart why it had to end this way. But I saw it all and heard everything I needed to hear. You didn't want to change for NOBODY, so instead you forced yourself to. You took it to a level where you would hurt yourself and put your life on the line just so you can be with me.
I never knew you would become like this and put me into a situation where I can't do anything anymore but just to forget about you. All I asked was for you to respect me and to leave my decision as that. But all I get is my parents to call the police and make you leave my property. At that point, I couldn't take it but to see everything, ESPECIALLY during our second month of our relationship. I didn't want it to end up this way. Now, everybody is worried for me, because of what happened. If I step a foot out of this house, they never know whats going to happen. You disrespected my family, my dad, my sister, even my sister's boyfriend. You were being immature, rude, ignorant. All I can do was watch and be scared for you. You got me terrified, confused and even stupid. For falling for a guy like you. I saw soooo much in you before. I don't understand why you had to do all that just to get it your way.
Which what I realized recently that you are very demanding and stubborn. You want everything your way, and I have no choice but to do whatever you want me to do. You put your life on the line to make me feel guilty. This is why my parents think so little of me. And I do agree now since you showed your true self for everyone to see. I just can't believe that you would do that to me. And now, this is the final thing that you will ever hear or see from me. I'm telling you that you need more help from somebody else that's willing to help you change. I'm finished. I know this is going to be really hard for the both of us cause we had so much now its just put away. But now, you have to understand why we can't see eachother, why we can't even look eye-to-eye together. It's because you put yourself in the situation where I can't even get any contact with you for what you done. I have no other choice but to cut you out of my life for my sake. For the better, I have to leave you alone and hope for the best for you. I just hope you can change into a better person, not for me, not for your family, but for yourself.
I don't wanna be the reason why your not living anymore. I don't want to end up being guilty everytime you come to my mind. I am sorry for whatever I did to make you get so angry. I just wished you would of acted the right way, then we would of been still together and finally getting to know a lot about eachother. Now, I have to deal with not seeing you, not calling you, not being able to even say "I love you". And it's just embarrassing just to witness so much. It's unbelievable. I'm sorry, but that "forever & always" is never going to happen. Just remember, that I really wanted us to work out and that I just wanted to be happy. And even though you said when we're finally over, you don't wanna see me, or even look at me. Just remember that I really cared about you. I hope you the best and this is going to be my final goodbye. I love you Justinn Andora Malimban. I'll always will. Promise.
W/ Love,
Rina Marie Figueroa
p.s Take care...