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Wednesday, March 18, 2009
The first and final day.

This is the first day where I actually absolutely zero phone calls. This is the first day where I knew that there is nobody to call me his. This is the first day where I just want to be alone and never love again. But what can you do? You can't change what has been done. But It would of been nice if he was still a friend i can keep contact with. But he's gone, free to do anything he wants to. I'm worried of where he'll end up. I told him that I wasn't going to call anymore cause it was just too sneaky. But it was hard. It hurt when he said to stop calling me. But then I had to let go for one last time. I really hope he's doing okay. Not being able to see him or hear him just "tears my world apart". I still look at the poem he gave me on Valentine's Day. The blue rose he gave me for our one month anniversary. And that stuffed toy when he surprised me by coming over. I really hate reminiscing at times like this. It makes me hate him even more for breaking everything he promised. This is the first time where I felt my heart break into seventeen pieces. It sucks, and it's a struggle. But suddenly today I'm feeling a little bit better. I've kept myself busy for the past hour, but everything i run into reminds me of him, and that sucks x 17. I hate being single. That's the first you'll ever hear from me.