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Monday, September 29, 2008
i hate this feeling...and a whole bunch of other stuff.

Have you ever had the feeling of jealousy but at the same time you don't even know why? Well maybe it's just me randomly ranting about my feeling that I had today. I just felt jealous and what not. I miss having a boyfriend, someone you know that will be there 24/7, late night phone calls, someone who calls you little cute nicknames, stuff like that. Damn.. i miss it. But although I told myself that if i keep thinking about these things, i'd find myself unfocused on other things that matter. Oh boy. I hate this feeling. It gets me frustrated and unconcentrated. I have no idea why I keep coming back to these dilemmas. Maybe it's because i wait for him to finally to start smartening up and start reading the signs and realize that i've been wanting him and waiting for him to figure out what I really feel. It seems like everytime I try to give him the hints and clues where i wanna get serious with him he pretends not to hear it. Like c'mon now.. isn't it that obvious? Ugggh... whatever. On the plus side, being single isn't that bad. you can fuck around with whoever.. (not saying i do but your more free to do whatever when your single, na'means?) so in atleast i'm not in a messed up relationship where i keep running back to the a guy whos been an asshole for like how many times? wooow. now those are the relationships that I DO NOT wanna get involved with. don't ruin your first chance with your lady, fellas. i'm sure that they'll be out of your life before you can say, " baby, i've changed!" BULLLLSHIT. ladies, if he screws you over ONCE don't play that game the second time. it's a waste of your valuable tiiiime. i swear we have like some more growing up to do for those kind of things. "love & affection" wait till you know what you really need in a relationship. having a boyfriend now who's an immature fuck up, is just plain out not worth it. ladies, we deserve much better then this. arrright!? anyways.. this was a whole lesson of love that i needed to be settled. boys are clueless when it comes to reading the signs. now how come i always keep running back to you? ahhhh sheeeeeit.

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